my blog

wat a waste

2008-03-21T09:40:00.000-07:00

yes il be quiting on guardian..im not going to work animore...im goin to please myself with other things that i should do...but working in guardian did help me to understand more in some culture of bisnes and also making new frens..n to learn new pharmacological agents..but too bad...i realli kant hold on..i noe i tried to compromise...but i kant..i already told my in charge that im resigning...but...well...its a personal problem..one thing ive to get rid of a new colleuge of mine..natra is her name...well..i mite not her much bt her..but i just wanna get off from an untrustworthy person...well..its okie...i did try to help cheryul n fatin to be together again..but its a waste...i realli dunno..i just wanna pray...hope everything is fine...well..im not angry with my hubby..i love him..he have the right to know everything..well..i love him so much..
but well..i realli...dun one to comment bt this matter anymore..
i want to lead a better life...i want a better future..a better salary..i want to realli save money..bekoz i want to take my degree and go haji before im 30...dats my wish..which im trying to do now..i must realli strict to myself in make sure that i realli save money..i want to bring my family go haji too..

ya allah..please don take my dad before i send him to haj...i realli love him...i want to take care of him like how he take care of me...i want him to know dat im the best daughter follow by sister..i love my mom too..but im in a favour of my dad...

n....bt my further studies of korse i want to be a nurse..i want to be a sister...a nurse manager...i hope i can do it..

well...watever obstacle in my life...i will endure..like i say..im realli sorie my dear..for scoldin u...i mean..i gt no intention...i reali dun like to scold..give me time..k bby....ill be like wat i am last time..e real shiela dat u noe....not the bad one...yess..i will gain all my trust to u...i realli love u...

yeah to day i was actually followed by 3 man...bangladesh..oh my god...its realli a sin...a bad situation that i kant control my fear..i duno y im scared.mabe is bekoz of his face who look like a rapist..yes i hide in the toilet...realli briong out my temper to my guy...bekoz he didnt pick up my kol..i hide in tkc...n luckily god answer my prayer..my hero is outside waiting for em..alamak...the worst thing i saw that man face to face...n..my guy didnt see when i told him his there...
oh god...i want to self defence..but just not able too....

the end

hmmm

2008-03-16T03:38:00.000-07:00

oh my god!!my father...fall down on the toilet..so sad im not there to help him...but he asked me to massage his buttock....funny him!!!

i meet my ayg...i mis him so much....i love u!!!

n.....we have great fun....hehe

n....i love my mom dad n sis!!!
n i left one more week of attachment...

cute

2008-03-11T19:43:00.001-07:00

TODAY
im at ward 32 b kkh...so cute of the babies..u make my life feel not bored at all...well...i ate macdonalds for lunch...talking to my ayg on the fone...hehe...cute...him..

btw today i talk to my fren...she told me about her story with her frens..she cried...im so sorry...
i mean..u have to be strong..if ur friends are those nice one..they will accept u for who u r...not for ur nerdies or what..wel..ur sweet at ur own heart...not like them..so hypocrites..looks nice in front..but damn bullshit...i hate ppl like this..so what they got good gpa or good remarks if their life is still full of jerkys in their heart...bless them...

i dun give a fucking damn shit on these ppl..im okie....as long im happy...well..they have foul mouth in the beginning and the end too...haha..thats where ppl will one by one..prevent themselves from standing beside u....jerkies!!!

today

2008-03-09T06:04:00.000-07:00

well...today im so tired..bekoz i realli not enuf of rest...how...btw...tomorrow will be my attachment at kkh...so tired...i hate paediatrics and got to do with pregnancy...not challenging enuf...

i was so touched my dad cooked for me telor dada today...
n....i went to work..n i met natra...n cheryl n fatin...natra...is a very nice lady..well..fatin likes her too...n.....we share lots of story...n guess wat..wat a small work..she noe my ayg...well...she hate that women name diana 2...eeeee....what a bitch...

but today..im really in pain..my head..is so pain..i nid to relax by watching hidayah...sumtink funny on youtube...i watch david copperfield too...sorie ayg..i didnt talk to u....im sorie i kant accompany u to see doctor..im in pain..sorie ayg..but i love you..

haiz...

2008-03-08T19:23:00.000-08:00

dats me

i dun think he sees this pic before

below he is so cute...

im actually sad...i know its been for so long ive did not went to this blog...im so tired..and too bz chatting with my man...

well...i got lots of things to share...i miss my bf so much...his been a great boyfriend...i love him to the max..well..he realli makes me close to him...i really feel his love..and i enjoy every moment of my breath with him...he is so cool..whenever i fite with him..he try his best to give me the courage and settle things on that day...i love the way he compromised himself with everythings.

but he always complained that he is sick..how can this be...haiyoo...is not that im flattering but i need the time to uphold myself bekoz i myself sick..well..ill alwyas pray that he will be fine...his the best....

i miss everyone in skool...

but i realli miss the kids in darul ma'wa...

its been 4 month i didnt visit them..how??

i actually cried everytime i meet them..

i cant hold my tears...bekoz they really opens my heart making me think that life is colourful whether they have no parents..but some who have parents...haiss...i think i du nt want to tok about it...im so sad...

my fren...in my work place...dear f....she have been so supportuve not like the other want..think about herself...she told me she broke up with his bf...haiyo..but she is being strong to accept him again and that guy is tying to change for the sake of thier love..but she nid to be a lil bit pampered to solve this trial...hehe..well woman we always stand for rights...we didnt wanna be a guys slave..damn them..but...ill pray for ur happiness pal..

ohya...last 2 weeks saturday..my sister face and achievement was brought up in the news...hehe..im so proud of her...really proud..but how can she say that im her inspiration..im not..its u urself adek...n im not that soft like what u think...

well..i gain 2 kg..thanks for my syg...alwyas bring me eat at kfc...hais u...

i went out with my sweety pie.....and i had a cheeky moment with him...so cute..that i kant describe..haaha....

well..forgot to show u..the pic that he went family outing with me and my family..n we at seoul garden...

well..

happy 3 months anniversary syg...i love you..n i love my family too!!!!

ok settle..

2007-12-25T19:16:00.000-08:00

alrite...im happy...everything is fine...im so happy..
now i know who is in wrong...that woman lah..lying on me saying that she was pregnant..what the fuck...haiz..my guy is still the best...no fuck for that woman for saying the truth..haha...thanks a lot for this trial..im actually so exhausted that i am tired to type the whole story..whatever it is i love my man...he makes me feel strong

oh no.....

2007-12-17T19:07:00.000-08:00

i received a call from a woman..and this woman claimed that she is a-m future to be fiancee...n i hate it...i believed her too much...maybe bekoz she is a woman..
but of koz i will think back n actually this woman is for real..if his not that a-m girl...how she get my number...of koz..they have met latest yesterday or what...

damn him...i believe and trust him that fast..but i have to fight for my rights...
how can i put myself on hold..and making others fooling on me..before they fool me out..i rather them get fooled by me...haiz...i dun understand..if not for my fast act...i rather go back to arman...or taufik...but it is too late..
maybe there is an end to the beginning...or maybe ive to hear things out on am side...yess that is right...but how can i face this..
i mean...who should i believe...i do love him...but is he playing on me..wow,,this is my first time experience this kind of situation..i try k...
ill be the gilli pig...ill try to solve things out..im not angry..bekos....this is an obstacles..
this is a challenge..
n..ive to take up this challenge from god...

love is blind.
but is can only be feel by our heart to see...

a-m

2007-12-10T19:03:00.000-08:00

his such a nice guy...i starting to like him..with the way he talks to me...
he so cute...n pamperable....

well...,my attachment is so boring..nothing to do..ward 53 in nuh..paediatric..is so bored to death...i think they nid to do sumtink to let us learn..wat a waste..

n.....i chat with him during my break..his so cute...but nevermind..

2007-12-05T19:00:00.000-08:00

i just get to know one nice guy from msn...im so happi...he is so romantic... haha
but no comment whether i like him or not..

love me my friends

2007-12-04T00:52:00.000-08:00

love my friends so much...they r my bones and skeletons...have been so supportive

2007-12-03T01:37:00.000-08:00

Love IS bliND

im confused life is such a miracle,....what i mean..sumtimes u dun expect tinks to be the same..n turns out to be beatiful or ugly.....im one of them..i do have an ugly life...a life full of embarassment,devastated kind of life...my life is black..dark...but this is in the past..i dunno how to present myself to others...im not so the vogue..but things change..life is getting colourful..getting to noe more ppl..understand my family circumtances...be with my frens...change my moment of life into lucious boost...it really makes me intravenously happy...well..unconciously...i have a friend who have the same thinking like me..so what is the good thing..i can reflect things on her..since her mindset is similar...so happy to be one of the staff in ttsh...and...having my award day on saturday as one of the executive member in youth club..i love my friends and everyone...muacks...hope to be back soon.

My past Blog

2007-11-28T00:58:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, January 26, 2005
---
well come back to my blogspot...i'm so happy dat i got this responsibilities being an ncos...but i cannot go through the hardship....i like our new oc but his to grumble..i am stressed out..i dun tink ppl understand my feelings...coz ppl always rely oon me...i tink i have to make them work independent....let me tell u one stories for a girl who live in a village named mimosa...i can't tink of that story anymore..it is too boring..lets forget about that...i tink i am going to lead into a better life and be more confident...dazt all to my an'an i luv you whether u majok.. _________- CuTe GaL - w e n t c r a z y a t `7:49 PM-

Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Hmmm...yes having to organize the sec1x orientation was like so drastic..well it may be stress...but i have fun with the new "ladies and gentlemen"...Well,i got a one adik angkat named Hilman...quite manja....yes...i am very happy to be their senior...thus for all..i am reveling my secrete at last..actually,i admire an'an a.k.a anuar...he is a kind,romantic person....well..i think datz it abt me...i think i am sensitive...who will like girls who is fat and ugly...well..i hope he can feel that i like him...yes i love him very much!!!!!!datz all for todaae.. _________- CuTe GaL - w e n t c r a z y a t `6:59 PM-

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Alhamdullilah...i am really happy kite dah sampai kepada tahun 2005..hooray!!!yup,my azam is to pass my gce 'o ' leve; with flying colours...dapat masok jc ataupun poly..to tell u all a secrete..that i am trying my best to score <15>

_________- CuTe GaL - w e n t c r a z y a t `6:15 PM-

today npcc..i miss my members from pirana....during camp teen...i want to die liao...the training was so damn tough that i vomiited all the food that i had ate!!!we did some basic training such as kekanan pusing and some other training..well it is guite turf actually because we are having our nco training and sargeant promotion test..well..we did have lunch..i,hasif,fathu,shu zhen,farah,farhana,faezah...ate nasi ayam at the coffee shop...well...we were so damn thirsty due to the weather which was damning warm..i prayed to god so taht it will rain..and yes it did..quite good actually!!!!!!but today i need to polish my boots,...make it shine...hey i am juz worried whether i can get my staff sargeant later...aiyoo!!!relax arr shila!!!!okie-dokie...datz all..bubye..

_________- CuTe GaL - w e n t c r a z y a t `6:15 PM-
Thursday, November 25, 2004
in life,we only kow that we have parents,family,friends and family.But do we really know that we are actually having some negative thinking about this matters in life???It was because when comes to a conclusion which matters about our life,we really stuck up in our brain.Yes!!We deserve to be free from forces and neglects things which we really did not want.I really do not what is going on in thiz life.I tend to experience a very unhappy life thiz 1 years.I did not get to much of freedom thus it makes me felt to commit suicide sometimes.Why? I have 1 younger sister.Her name is Azlin.She is a girl who is passionate in lifeand does not resist any atention in order to do her work.But she is still immarture in the sense of thinking.I dun really expect her to be like me.Iam not a perfect person.I help her what i really could do for her in future but my parents misunderstood the consequences of me being someone who is responsible enough to take care of my sister.I teaches her mathematics and i am shocked that she passed her subjects with flying colours .Congratulation siz!!!!But i am really unsatisfied with my own results which was the final results.My parents?I am great to have parents like them who is very concern in their own child and sacrifice their time in order to provide for their own childrens.But do they understand their childrens feeling??Childrens nowadays wanted freedom in life,love from their parents increaingly and most importantly trust.Comparing their own childrens with others is quite unapproriate as it shows know love and trust between parents and the child.It is sad that parents always think money is important in life.In a family we realy need teamwork,trust,co-operation and developing plans for the future of the family. I disagree when some parents think that some children are becoming wild because of peer influences outdoors.No!!These childrens are bored at home,thus spent the time with their friends with the availability of money.Where are the parents??Working!working!working!tHe reasons is to grow us up and to see us achieve with interior diploma.But for what if we really did not have any love from parent?Is it just a play where we watch a series of drama created by mediacorp??Nope!!Thiz is reality!!!Yes some of the childrens used the trust of parents disadvantageously.But do we given a chance to be trusted??Oh..no wander criminals who were jailed before find a difficulty of finding jobs.To me trust means believing someone in the form of character. In conclusion,i think we have to trust someone whether it is 1% coz without trust we could not live in future.We have to find a solution in order to make someone trust us.There is a lot.What you need is to search for it.Make this as a challenge for urself.That's all!!!To all of u!! "TruSt Is A SpEcIAl ThIngS In SomEoNe CHaRaCtER.So Get iT!!!" _________- CuTe GaL - w e n t c r a z y a t `5:49 PM-

Thursday, November 04, 2004
_________- CuTe GaL - w e n t c r a z y a t `4:07 PM-
hello...okie-dokie..i am gonna tell u wat had happened diz two weeks abt me..ai yoo..first of all..i congratulate my self for getting the 6th position for cross country for girls division..then..i got a throphy for that...the next day..on friday...i received my record book..my exam results is good but not taht good..i have to work hard in order to get good grades for my math,eng and science..i will particularly need to achieve a high standard of education for o level..like my other siblings who always got 10 n below for their o levels..i am so proud to have them as my siblings...then...i did not care whether now i am lowest in class or i did fail something this year..i will not use this as an excuses for me o give up in future..i have a strong feeling that i can challenge the rest if i have the perseverance...i remembered what mdm rohani,ms kang,mdm hariani adviced me personally...u have no other thing to support u unless ur education n a diploma...mdm rohani challenged me to get a phd degree,ms kang wants me to get a1 for math in o levels,mdm hariani wants me to get the best results among the malays in singapore...i know i can do it...next..on saturday..i have to go for sea awards for performances...i am proud to represent myself as a pianist...then mr gan approach me..shila,if u apply on wat u memorize for the notes for ur performance,u surely can apply it for ur subjects...thanks mr gan...then..on sunday...i and some other ncos in my squad went for a fun walk..it is fun..we got a t-shirt.cap.sweets,towels.n food packeges...very fun...on mon..i suppose to come for npcc...but i dun want bcoz it is not important futhermore...my ez-link card finish...haven't top-up yet....now is the time for me o talk abt my life patner...aitya....now rite in my mind is an'an onli..dunno why..he is like my lucky charm...with him..is like having curiosity..n i felt secure talking to him..he is a very understandsing guy...hehe...i only have 20% crush on him....datz all... _________- CuTe GaL - w e n t c r a z y a t `3:50 PM-
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
emm...early moning at 4 am...sahur...eat rice with sardines...emm..alhamdullilah..kenyangnye... den,pray...go sleep...so tired until overslept...forgot to go for meeting in school..sorry counsel members...emm..i miz everyone in school...later 2 weeks time i am going to sleep at my grandma's house..heyy...u know wat..i felt quite upset bcoz i need to leave singapore by 2 yrs time..at Brunei Darussalam...no!!!i dun want to go...aiya...so bored..no frenz there...forget bout it..emm..diz bulan ramadan...i went jogging with farhana,farah and zhi wei...hehe..want to loss some weight...atleast i have lost 5 inches since 4 months ago..thanks to npcc,hockey n mr Soh,Mr raj..for taf training..heyy..i have to do my very best bcoz i did not born fat!!!help me..Ya ALLAH...emm..later afternoon..want to go jogging...my adik tak leh harap..yelah dier kan dah kurus..hehe..nvm..friends are beside me what...emm..later hari raya come..i will wear blue colour kebaya...last two days..when i went 4r terawih...der was a group of guys asking number..emm..see..lastime when fat-fat...no guys nak knal..dah slim sikit...stepping...aiyo..guys nowadays cannot be trusted so much..so i ignore them lol..i am going to meet this guy named taufiq..pas hari raye...emm..so fast...nvm..datz all frm me...i gtg..bubye.. _________- CuTe GaL - w e n t c r a z y a t `2:21 PM-

whatever

2007-11-28T00:40:00.000-08:00
good..im happi assignment is over..
if not my eyes will get thinning due to that stupid small words..

yesterday went to johor..i drove my uncle's car...illegally..eiyah onli bt 1km..
kool men..notink happend..
but still i love to ride bike..kant wait to buy my kr...
well bt love life..aiyah..study first..
exam kuming wat...must stress now..happi later..
but wateva it is..i realli ...
i kant stay for 1..but whatever it is..
i love my family and friends!!!

yeah!!!